Alzheimer's - The Big Cover-Up
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My life was a nightmare for almost four years with my mom in hospitals and nursing homes. She had Alzheimer's and I had long ways to travel every day to keep check on her. She was starved, frozen, skinned legs and shins every few days and to the ER over many of the accidents because her head hit something. How do you slice your shins falling out of bed? I checked, there were no sharp edges. I would ask them and they just laughed like it all was so funny and not a thing to worry about. She was so mistreated.
Worse things I suspect happened to her but could never prove. She contracted MRSA, which is highly contagious and there is no cure for and can even lead to death and no one even told me.
The more I complained the more they hid from me and I was so afraid if I jumped them over things anymore they would be meaner to her because that appeared to be the way it was going.
No matter how many times I caught them up in things they simply lied and stared me in the face like what can you do about it? I am not kidding. They got defiant. The only time I did get someone involved she took the nursing homes word for everything. She told so many lies even the administrator wouldn't agree with her! Someone knows why. I sure don't.
Pictures I had of Mom with blood splattered across her sheet I had taken after going there and had mom grab my arm and tell me on them immediately meant nothing! She said it could have happened many different ways. My mom rarely even knew me anymore but this desperate plea to me for help let me know they had hurt her bad and no one did anything!
I knew I had to get her out, I couldn't leave her to these criminals, so I would keep my mouth shut so they would allow her to live long enough for me to bring her home. I would manage somehow, I just had to. These people were defiantly laughing in my face and no one seemed to care!
She was sent home with pneumonia and the ambulance drivers could even tell. Why did they bring her? Don’t they have rules about that? Do all in every direction look the other way? Is that why so many get treated so badly and no one ever has to pay? Everyone says shut up if you want to work?
That night I melted cough drops and spooned them to Mom to open her up and we would both sleep maybe fifteen minutes before she was wheezing again. It was a nightmare for us both. I knew a nurse would be there soon and tell me what to do. I took her to a local small hospital at daylight after the nurse scheduled to visit checked her out and suggested I do that and she was sure they would keep her awhile.
Mom could not even stand so you can imagine what that was like. I am little more than five foot tall although she weighed practically nothing by now, still it can be very hard and dangerous. The hospital checked her over and huddled talking and looking at me. This is true although I have good reason to be paranoid by now I still today wonder at this. She had been taken to this hospital a few years before with chest pain from a local nursing home that hurt Mom's leg after knee surgery and it was two or three years later I got the bill never having known about the visit before. Mom had 100% coverage and that nursing home had all her information. What was this all about? I called them then and told them to call the nursing home for their payment if any was due and I never heard another word. Strange; to say the least; all of it.
She couldn't breathe and they were sending her home with an albuterol inhaler! A person with Alzheimer's which anyone with an ounce of brain would know would not be using it. I knew they knew she had pneumonia, but by now this was not really that shocking. Why would I even expect more? What would I do now, though? I wanted to fall in the floor crying but Mom was looking desperately at me. I put a whole cough drop in her mouth to open her up before we left since she still was wheezing heavily. If she swallowed it at least we were in the ER.
I called the nurse that had seen her that morning at home and agreed with me there was reason to worry; and talked to two others in the office before I got to the one that had seen Mom. They all were shocked and recommended I call an ambulance to have her taken to a larger hospital immediately and so I did. After three hours in the ER they said yes, she had pneumonia. It showed on the X-ray...but it didn't on the other hospital's X-ray?
You would think this would be a turnaround for my mother but the nightmare went on and on. This hospital kept her in ICU for weeks and one day while I was visiting I saw Mom's tray at the corner of her room covered and asked the nurse about it. Part of the reason she couldn't leave was they wanted her to be able to eat! She said Mom just didn't want anything. I went over and lifted the lid. The silverware was still wrapped and the food untouched. I only assume she asked Mom if she wanted to eat and Mom said no. Personally though, I don't believe she even did that. I pushed the food over and fed Mom without asking the nurse or Mom. I could tell the nurse was embarrassed and mad. A nurse. Why? I can't even ask God to have mercy on her soul.
Mom was never home again after that. The nightmares continued until she finally was killed from among countless other things; a nursing home putting her on cheap medications instead of what her outside doctor ordered. A nurse also told me this, there are a few good ones out there as shocked as me, but what can they say or do if they want to keep their jobs?
Everywhere they cover for each other. Three different nursing home and one renowned rehabilitation center in Winston-Salem, NC, where I believe my mother to have been raped or sexually assaulted. The nurses and people working there know what happened but they certainly did not call any law or admit to me of anything causing my mother's distress and her nurse hid from me for hours with the women behind the nurses station covering for him. He was so busy. He was a nurse, my mother's nurse and no nurse had ever been too busy to talk to me before. Because he was a male nurse I am not implying he was the one to assault her but since he clearly wasn't there who can know? If I saw him I knew I would know or at least ask questions which of course only he could answer. No one else knew anything. They weren't her nurse. That is all I ever got.
My mother was not given the EKG she always had on Mondays there; although there was no nursing home opening until Wednesday. A cover-up. Not even any medical records for proof and besides, it might mean she couldn't leave. They wanted her out badly, I had to go look for more nursing homes to see if one of them had an earlier opening and they would help me, give me names. They sure hadn't been this helpful before. I was on my own before and leaving them was not in question if she still needed medical attention, that was Medicare law. Not now though. They wanted her out and they would do no more tests. All was 100% covered. It doesn't even take a genius to see this but no one would help me, no one would listen, no one even had time to talk to me. Patient advocate? Right. They all cover.
These monsters all are still out there and I am sure giving others like my mom the same treatment. Killing the ones that cause them trouble to make room for others whose family is either blind or don’t care. These elderly people are like small innocent children and something needs to be done. I witnessed cover-ups and why? Why do these places that investigate want to cover for them, I don't know, but I know they do. If anything happens to a loved one of yours take them to a hospital or doctor right then, get proof and not one the nursing home uses! They know where their bread is buttered. They are all little Hitlers, there is little difference in the end. They are starved, abused and murdered.
It would have been so much easier for them to take care of my mother. She was so sweet and never gave anyone any trouble but they did things I will never in this life understand. She couldn’t even have chocolate pudding unless I took it to her. If there is a shortage why can’t they order more? Does it cost more? Every time I saw an opened or full pudding in her room it was not chocolate yet they swore she got chocolate all the time.
The last night Mom was home I had her TV on to maybe help keep her calm while we got her through the night and while I was by her bedside she said, "Well look at Sally Struthers, she sure has gotten fat." I looked and indeed it was Sally. I could hardly recognize her but Mom did.
When the nurse asked Mom her name Mom gave her mine, and I was the one she called all the time, but to my face that I knew she loved to see, she never put a name. Yet she knew Sally Struthers...and I was so thrilled she did. My Mom was still in there somewhere. That happy, whistling, work until midnight, mother. She did not deserve this. They none do.
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I have learned now there are special facilities for Alzheimer's patients and if you care at all for your parent or family member get them in one of those. I have included two very good links that will confirm my words and suspicions and help you do the right thing.
Signs of Nursing Home Abuse
iqnursinghomes.com/signs-of-abuse.cfm
Nursing Home Abuse issues
alzheimers-disease-in-nursing-homes.html
Place Alzheimer’s Patients only in places specially trained for that!
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Thank you so much G-Ma and I know that about your mom from reading you. I am glad to have others back me up on this because many people just do not believe it.
Whether it is true or not I cannot prove but a nurse told me something of what you mentioned there. They employ nurses who just can't get good jobs anywhere else (not good nurses for less pay) and it certainly seems to be true from the years I had to witness it. It is too late for my mom but others need to be made aware until nursing homes and places covering for them in a money game see their time is up and they must stop these cruel cruel treatments that someone right now, or many someones are allowing.
Thank you so much for speaking out! God bless you and your dear mother.
Jackie Lynnley...I couldn't agree more. when Mom fell and broke her hip she had to be in a nursing home for 90 days and my sister and I were there every single day for all 90 days( from 10 - 12 hours) to make sure she was fed, we even made our own food and brought it in.
One time my sister went in early to see her for breakfast and mom was wet from her head to her toes, she had been laying in her own urine for hours. Just so happened that very day they were being audited by the state...The caregiver got fired and the floor nurse repormanned(sp) I went to the Directer of the home and told him about it, he didn't even know... Guess what he said to me..." I know things are bad and we need more help so what you and the voters need to do is write to your senators" He did check on mom for a few days and even though I reported this nothing was done, well other then fire the caregiver...
There were poor elderly people there that needed help so much. My sister came for 2 months from Calif. to help me and we believe we kept her alive...she is on pureed foods and totally dependent on us (me) and the caregivers.
I too write so anyone that has to deal with this can maybe learn from my experience...:O)God Bless and Hugs G-Ma
Thank you so much G-Ma. Mom died a year ago June and until now when I wrote it was just so full of rage I know I made little sense and I have not been received well, people just don't want to hear this. Some will though and if we can help them then maybe our moms have not suffered in vain. I plan to scream until someone listens this time, as calmly as I can. People will see it was not my imagination, if all her medical records don't prove enough. I will show what is still happening. My own family members stayed home and did not care what was happening so I don't expect others with none in nursing homes to like these hubs but they will be here when people need them. Most will.
Keep up the good fight! God be with you and your dear mother.
Dear heart you, and your mom went threw so much. My mom passed on with it some years ago. It breaks your heart when someone you love so dearly is lost in a world of Alzeimers. I prayed every moment of my mother's life when she fell ill with seemingly everything in the book. I know what you went threw with hospital care being the way it is at times. Your mom will always be with you in your heart forever, that close, and loving place that can give you comfort. Your hub was sad, yet beautiful because it shows us all so much, the love you had for your mom. How blessed she was to have you as her daughter. That was God's precious gift to her, to have you to care for her. Wishing you, and your loved ones joy, and happiness in this New Year unfolding. God Bless You, and I love you, and so does a million more of your friends.
Thank you so much stars and I love you and thank you so much for all your kindness. I did love my mom so much, she was such a happy person that brought such joy to this world with her songs, whistling and laughter. She did know how much I loved her and called me constantly which tore at my heart all the time I couldn't be there watching over her. I am so happy to have friends like you, it makes me smile again.
Jackie, I felt your pain and anxiety and angst through the whole read. I'm so very sorry for your mom's and your experiences. I lost my dad a year ago to kidney disease and severe dementia. We are the best advocates for our family members. And, as you well know, oh the lessons we learn from and about nursing homes. Not all employees are absent empathy and are driven to help the aging, but those who lack the necessary attributes and caring heart are well-defined from our experiences. It causes frustration and sleepless nights and the effects of the stress is simply ongoing. Have a voice to initiate change. I gave you thumbs up because your sharing was so emotionally effective. I sincerely hope writing helps to heal those wounds. Take care.
Thank you ytsenoh so much for your kind words. This is the healed me as ones here can tell you as I came in screaming with rage. Now that rage is gone but the bewilderment of why and why so many cover will never leave me. The hundreds of thousands of dollars it took to kill my mother is happening over and over again and I do hope more people start talking about it until these murderers live in fear.
Jackie, I can't believe that people who profess to take care of the sick, people working in the health care industry can be so cruel.
I always thought that people who become doctors, nurses and other health care professionals were special people who possess caring and compassion.
Those people are monsters and God will deal with them in his own time. There is no reason at all in the whole world that could make me understand what they did. They need to pay.
It's a pity you didn't sue them for negligence and abuse and whatever else you could find to sue them for. I know that maybe a lawsuit would have been the last thing on your mind with what you went through.
I feel for you and am so mad this happened. I can tell the pain is still there. God will take care of you.
BIG HUGS~~
Thank you so much Cardisa and you have said what I have had to bite my lip not to but feel deep in my heart, God will take care of them, but that is no justice really for my mother. This is only the tip of the iceberg and the problem really was everyone covering and not willing to risk their job to save these old people from miserable last days and even years on this earth they have given so much to. Thank you, so glad you came by to read. Even the good nurses are guilty by association really but their hands are tied. If this all blows open one day though I hope many of them will be witnesses against the monsters. I accept all your hugs my friend and right back at you.
Jackie this story about your mom's treatment got me a bit angry-they are criminals that treat those entrusted to their care that way. I once did some volunteer work in one and saw bad things. Later on they got fixed legally but good. And yes, some hospitals can be just as bad or close to it. Well, so sorry your sweet mom had to go through that hell and you too Jackie, your a very loving daughter.
Thank you Alaster, I hope many pass this fear to those who need to know. One day we will be there and it would be nice to have it fixed regardless. These are criminals, you said that right and a long line of them. As always, happy for your visit.
Dear Jackie, I'm so sorry about your mother, it happnes all over the country for years these evel people continual to get away with it. . I vagly remember my grandmother who died in the early 50s but I will always remember my father screaming his rage for the same things you've described. Those evel people will get theirs, maybe not in this life, but judgement day will come. I sure feel for you, thank for making others aware. Later Kay
Thank you so much Kay. I had no idea my mom would get but the best of treatment, she always did before Alzheimer's so I guess this is something they can save for the ones who really can't tell although my mom surprised them a few times; they still got around it. I hope you warn everyone you can, thank you so much for your comment here and taking a stand with me! Bless you.
This is so heartbreaking. My heart aches to read of it. I hope you are continuing to heal and to have faith that your dear good mother is in a beautiful peaceful place.
Yes I know she is. We had such high hopes of making her last years good ones though and life does not listen to plans. Thank you so much for reading.
Jackie these people are monsters. I always thought nursing was a calling, people who cared and had compassion. Why are these cruel people in this profession.
I am sos sad and angry that your Mum and others have to go through this degradation. And why does nobody listen to people like yourself when making complaints is beyond me.
It is too late for your Mom but I hope your hub reaches those who are in a position to do something about this.
Thank you Rosemay, I hope so too. I have been here over two years talking about it and it is getting easier to talk without getting so upset, because it is plain and simple a cover-up so all these people can keep jobs they shouldn't even be in. I could tell things I am embarrassed to say in memory of my mother. There will be justice one day for her...but I know others are still going through it. Thank you so much for caring.
Sorry Alastar, I mispell you when I am not thinking...
This is so sad. I find a hard time believing that things like this happen - How can humans treat other humans like this. I deal with Alzheimer's all the time and I know it is hard for those who have to deal with it, but these precious people are just that - people, and they deserve the same dignity, respect and love that anyone else does. I am so very sorry that you had to go through all of this and even sorrier that your mother did.
Thank you homesteadbound, it is so much worse than I can even get across and it did get to be like a conspiracy. I could do nothing to help her and I was not able to handle her alone after they let her go so long without walking her feet had turned in and she would never walk again while they claimed she walked all the time! Just never when I was around. It is just their word against yours and I don't know how long you have been into this or where you are from but I believe you will have to run into it sooner or later. All who cannot tell on them are doomed and my mom tried her best to tell me but her being like a baby they knew they had us both there too. Our government or a good lawyer should send in undercover patients, then that will be the beginning of change.
Thanks for reading.
I have an agency that provides non-medical care for the elderly wherever they are, from in the home to in the hospital to in a nursing home. But we would never allow things like this to go on and would report it always.
Also, I sent you an email in regards to your questions. I hope you received it.
I have not been close with Alzheimer's patient, and do not know much about the disease. Your experience is revealing. You have properly outlined, what to do when someone in your family has Alzheimer.
God bless you.
Thank you so much Vinaya, it is always easier looking back than fighting the battle, but I hope I can forewarn many who do care.
I sympathize with your suspicions regarding people working at the hospitals and nursing homes.
As a beat reporter back in my radio days, I often questioned nurses and medical staff why some poor patients are often neglected during the regular rounds.
They will always responded: "We are understaff", and similar bru-ha-ha.
We cannot avoid to visit hospitals fora our parent's check-up and treatment, but we must rely on doctors' decisions in the end.
After all, we need them. Or I must say, they needed us ordinary, sick people.
You're right, we must be always on guard. We can evade them, if we'll have a healthy life although aging is inevitable.
My father suffered from that consequence (from lung disease), although short-lived. He cannot bear the treatment at the public hospital. His decision was to go back home until his death.
travel_man I would have certainly had mom at home and did as long as I could. I tried even when I couldn't and that was a really bad time having to hand her back over. So very many cover for the murderers (really that is what they are). This was too many things in too many places to be an isolation, this is just the way it is I am sure unless some saint has set up a place I will never be lucky enough to find when my time comes. Thanks for your comments and input.
This is a tale of horrors for you and your late mum, made worse by having to deal with the most horrible of illnesses. My heart goes out to you, but I see and hear about this far too much, particularly when I was back visiting my country of birth recently. And yes the medical profession certainly closes ranks!
Thank you clairmy, it is another gift in my mother's name to each new person I can reach and warn and maybe make a difference for those just like her. So happy to have you read this and comment.
None of these places should be open. I know at times that it can take a while to catch people doing inappropriate things, I don't understand how peoples heads didn't roll after reading how much proof you had of abuse and neglect.
To me all these places should have been closed down and some of the staff should have been facing charges. It would be interesting to find out from a lawyer how many others were mistreated and if anything can be done.
I am sorry that your mum never got the loving care she should have recieved. voted up and clicked buttons.
Thank you Lyn, and the horror of it was that Mom just kept holding on, it took them almost four years of torture, if you count some of her family too, to finally kill her and for over two of those years I made daily visits and sometimes two. My first mistake was believing anything I did not see. That is what everyone should look for. She never had therapy which was separate from the nursing homes or so they claimed and her feet turned in and she was past hope of walking before I ever knew it. I took her out of one nursing home when she still could communicate well with me because they hurt her and were not giving her therapy which was all she was there for. It wasn't easy but she worked with me and we had her going within a week! The second time though it started with a blood clot and I could hardly make any demands and they knew it.
Thanks so much and please tell everyone you think may need this information. They are so sweet you would never dream what devils they really are.
Jackie, the sad thing about you and your mother's story is that it is not an isolated thing. What you and your mother suffered through is more common than you may know. The local news here in the Los Angeles area has done a couple of exposés on nursing home and elder abuse the past few years. How these abusive "caregivers" can live with themselves is beyond me! There needs to be some fundamental changes made in our healthcare system to make sure this kind of thing doesn't keep happening. So sorry your dear mother was treated this way and that you were ignored or worse. Thanks for sharing your heartbreaking story. It must have been difficult to write.
That is actually what brought me here Rick, with never a poem on my mind, just to shout about what was happening to these elderly moms and dads and many people did not believe it. They murdered her and it is in God's hands now, He knew how hard I tried over and over again and how all these superiors just look the other way, knowing exactly what is happening. It is like slaughtering sheep and thousands are to blame. It is not as upsetting now as it was when it was happening but of course I will never forget it or stop warning. Thanks for reading, it was difficult telling things she probably would rather I hadn't. She was so modest and sweet.
She might not have wanted you to tell some things but she would have wanted you to get the word out that such things DO happen! And if your hub put even one person on guard to closely watch their loved one while they were under someone else's care then writing it would be worth it, don't you think? It's not always easy to be the one who shouts out an injustice they've seen. It was a brave thing you did to write about it.
Thank you, it wasn't easy and the horror was a crime had been committed against her and she acted like a person who had been raped, she screamed and wouldn't even let me touch her for about an hour and I could get no one to come help her! She kept pulling clothes and blankets around her and for many weeks after leaving there she showed many signs to me and my sister who is a nurse and completely agreed. I could write a book on all the bad things that she went through, but that one I don't think I could live through.
But thank you and hopefully whoever reads this will take notice.
Hi Jackie... hugs to you and Mom... I know just where you are at because mine is going through much the same. When I visit I look deep inside in my attempts to find her. She offers the odd glimpse of the past when asked about something and they are prizes when they happen.
The mind can slip but the spirit never dies Jackie. She is still there Jackie... when you look in the mirror you will see glimpses of her in yourself. Mannerism, wortds and especially in your heart.
Hugs from Canada
Thank you Rolly, and yes she will always be with me, from my earliest memories, she is there. Thanks for your visit and hugs back to you.
G-Ma Johnson Level 4 Commenter 4 months ago
I am so sad for you and escpecially your mom and what she went through. It sure makes you wonder why Money is more important then the Lords creations. My Mom has been in a facility now for over 6 years, 4 of those years in a very Nice Alzheimer's facility, but even so I must be on top of everything, all the time.
Even there the caregivers are not paid as well as they deserve(the good ones anyway)and though the nurse's know I check her all the time things still happen when I am not there which is everyday, or at the least every other day.
I have learned to go directly to the Director of Nursing and calmly ask my questions...I keep up on her meds and research them on-line, I even make cop
ies of things (like what ages it is bad for , or what this med. may cause) I want explained and take it with me.
It is a tough hard way to live, especially for mom, because she cannot talk anymore, she is 93 and now confined to a wheelchair...so it is absolutley up to me to see that she is taken care of...I go feed her every day I can which as I said is at the least every other day depending on my schedule...
My prayers to you and all that are going through this horrible disease and take heed to try to take good care of yourself so you don't get it,not that we can truly prevent what will happen.
God Bless...:O) Hugs G-Ma